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Curious if you are using an IDE. It's easy to inspect the

DefaultRoleWithPolicyArgs

type if you are... it's

interface DefaultRoleWithPolicyArgs {
        /**
         * Args to use when creating the role and policies. Can't be specified if `roleArn` is used.
         */
        args?: inputs.awsx.RoleWithPolicyArgs;
        /**
         * ARN of existing role to use instead of creating a new role. Cannot be used in combination with `args` or `opts`.
         */
        roleArn?: pulumi.Input<string>;
        /**
         * Skips creation of the role if set to `true`.
         */
        skip?: boolean;
    }

so basically instead of

taskDefinitionArgs: {
        taskRole: fargateTaskRole,

you need

taskDefinitionArgs: {
        taskRole: { roleArn: fargateTaskRole.arn },

You're right Mike, thanks! I didn't think about inspecting it. Much appreciated!