Oh hey, well I used your comment and it seemed to work but it started not letting me modify load balancers again. So the Listener, even with the option you suggested and replaceOnChanges, is still the last thing Pulumi wants to remove. So it tries replacing the targetgroups first which fails because they're in use by the listener still. It did work until I changed the Protocol on the listener and taregtgroup at the same time
Let me destroy it and start over and try to trigger it again. I had moved on to trying the
awsx.lb resources instead, but the plugin is saying internal error loading awsx package (made sure it was installed) so that's also giving me a hard time