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Refreshing is about updating the stored state against your infrastructure.
Updating is about updating your infrastructure against the diff between your code and the stored state; so doesn't read the current infrastructure.

You can do `up --refresh` to do the refresh just before the update

Yes but I want to see each value that is going to be updated with refresh

I will try find a better example of my exact beef with it

But basically I would expect diff for refresh to look like update if there was a change on remote that is being compied into state

In interactive mode, is it not giving the option to show details?

I don't have an example to check against, but it sounds like a bug as the diff is meant to be detailed.
Can you report to here please: <https://github.com/pulumi/pulumi/issues|https://github.com/pulumi/pulumi/issues>