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If it takes a lot of time, its hard knowing what part of the pulumi code is most guilty in the time it takes

are you using the pulumi cloud backend ? if so, it has detailed info on various steps.

running

pulumi up/preview --refresh

on CI servers, and sometimes locally

The Pulumi app makes it easy to find the info, but all backends do record the same information. Find the log of each update; it includes the time taken to complete the update. You need the verbose output to get all times, but the times for longer updates are shown even in the summary. For example, in this snippet, the two event rules were updated quickly, but the two lambda functions took a while:

│  ├─ aws:cloudwatch:EventRule            ec2-stop                                      
 ~   │  │  └─ aws:lambda:Function              ec2-stop                    updated (16s)     [diff: ~code]
     │  └─ aws:cloudwatch:EventRule            ec2-start                                     
 ~   │     └─ aws:lambda:Function              ec2-start                   updated (24s)     [diff: ~code]