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Slightly odd question, but does anyone have any sort of script that can take a state file, and tell you how many resources are in it? I know I could do this with the preview command but for various reasons I won't go into, I can't run that

Assuming you mean an exported state file in JSON format, you might be able to do it with e.g. `jq`:

```pulumi stack export | jq '.deployment.resources | length````

(You might want to apply filtering e.g. to remove default providers or the like, but this could be a good starting point)