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Maybe <https://www.pulumi.com/docs/reference/pkg/kubernetes/core/v1/pod/#terminationgraceperiodseconds_nodejs|this>?

Can work for some cases. But it overrides default grace period for pod imo.? So even when let's say azure wants to restart node. It will not wait longer then value set in this field. Which could break the logic. I only wants to break that default grace period when i am sure i want to delete all the pods in deployment/statefulset.

Indeed, Pulumi will do the exact same, if you have a problem on a pod that needs to be immediately terminated you can do that from `kubectl`
Pulumi will just compare the golden state of its resource graph and apply the difference. The "lack" of something do not have any properties, so all the behavior of how to delete something must already be set from the previous deployment.