Is there a away to make Pulumi wait for an ECS deploy to fully complete after updating a container+task definition instead of just saying its successful right away after the task definition is updated?

I don't believe so, someone can correct that if its incorrect. If you're using automation-api, once pulumi is complete you could use boto or requests depending on the situation to do some smoke tests or query state.

I think you can do a waiter on an

apply

for the outputs