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I think these are both relevant to you: <https://github.com/pulumi/pulumi/issues/2209>
<https://github.com/pulumi/pulumi/issues/2309>

You could use Automation API and some work of your own to potentially make this easier for you in the meantime.

Otherwise using just CLI your solution:
&gt; Running Pulumi refresh and Pulumi up on each spoke stack restores the missing peerings
Is the current expected way to resolve this.

Thanks for the validation Joshua, 2309 sums it up.  I'm going down the road of orchestration to update dependencies now.