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there's lots of eventual consistencies like this in AWS 😅 You can do things like run a loop inside the user data

while true
do
    ping -c 1 ip
done

Or the pulumi specific way is to use a waiter on certain resources

never had the issue with cloudformation, but I guess they are aware of their own things lool. now that I know how I can specify my own userData (and have the instance reach out to cfn & add itself to the ECS cluster) I can do something like that yes, and I may actually use the dependsOn to make sure things get created in a certain order