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Is the RDS instance provisioned in that pulumi stack? 

Did you change it using pulumi or manually?

we made changes to the instance via Pulumi

I’ve never used the Postgres provider, but I’d imagine some of the fields changing trigger an update, but what you can do is add some custom logic to reapply the change if the dependency is updated?

Ill try changing the resource name to test it out, but Im afraid that'll require manual intervention on every deploy

Hmm, not really, you could write some logic that checks if any of the keys you care about change in the rds instance then apply the Postgres code if it needs to be done