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What do I do when a resource will always say there's a diff when I do a preview but when I do a refresh it says nothing changes? It's incredibly annoying and a burden to my team...

This likely means there is a bug in the provider in use. If you could open a ticket against the provider's repo that would be greatly appreciated!

I think this issue has the problem <https://github.com/pulumi/pulumi-aws/issues/3880> and I see there is other issues linked all of which are closed.. I tried updating to latest aws provider 6.34.0 so maybe I am a bit confused on the status.

If #3880 is the issue you're running into, I can confirm Pulumi Engineering is still investigating the cause, so updating won't resolve it unfortunately.

Okay thanks I'll leave a comment just to denote a customer is running into issue and watch the status. Thanks!