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Did you only just add the deleteBeforeReplace option to your code? That option, and all others, needs to be successfully updated and be in state before they apply.

So first you would set it to true, do Pulumi up, than make the change that will create a new dns record, than Pulumi up again.

If you have already had successful updates with that set to true than disregard.

OH, that make sense, I will give another try, thanks for this