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nvm, i found the issues related to this <https://github.com/pulumi/pulumi/issues/3388> ...

That issue seems wrong to me. It is not needed. Use StackReferences. Your project are not stand-alone: if one project depends on having upped another project previously, then "create if doesn't exist" isn't a problem: your dependency is "other project has been upped".

Just use StackReference and depend on the outputs of the other stack.